Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Stoners sign Joe Cannon

Oops! 404 Error -- Salihi requested does not exist. Still a big hungover, the Partnership missed the fact that Hamdi Hamdi Hamdi was officially let go by DC United earlier today making his acquisition ILLEGAL. To fill the now vacant roster spot, the Stoners will grab some goalkeeping insurance in the form of Joe Cannon.

Hamdi Salihi Joins Stoners

The Partnership acquire Hamdi Salihi to round out the Pennsylvania Stoners' initial fifteen man roster. Asked to comment on the move, the Partnership said, "We can always drop him, right?"

Stoners Sign Quincy Amarikwa


Partnership Signs Twin Gabriel Farfan

Primarily to thwart Gateway United from forming a Wonder Twin-esque duo of Mexican-American Union players, Pennsylvania Stoners FC is proud to announce the acquisition of Philadelphia handyman Gabriel Farfan.

Stoners Acquire Walter Martinez, Honduran Man of Mystery

Pending BSL approval, the Stoners will be acquiring DC United trialist and Honduran World Cup veteran Walter Martinez. The international striker who spent his last three seasons in China and was recently bounced from Colorado's training camp should do little to fill the void produced by the Partnership's two day bender that led to three vacated draft selections.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Stoners Announce 2013 Designated Players

Designated Player Announcement- Presented by McDonald's Shamrock Shakes

Waking up from a long offseason hibernation, the Stoners brass would like to announce that the team will be retaining the services of two of their players.  After a much improved second season in MLS, it comes as no surprise that the Stoners will be keeping Robbie Keane.  Free Shamrock Shakes for all!  The Stoners will also be keeping a man whose MLS profile is on the rise.  In the sweltering heat and humidity of Houston, this man stays calm, cool, and collected.  The Stoners are pleased to announce that Mr. Will "The Thrill" Bruin will return to the club.  When asked what he will bring to the club this year, Will said, "Goals."