Sebastien Le Toux
|Much like Che Guevara, Marcos Flores hails from Argentina|
"Between his Argentine blood and Australian playing experience, we're hoping that Marcos will help the Stoners' global brand. We've been doing a lot of brainstorming, and we're actually thinking about having him wear 'YAO' on the back of his jerseys."Keep brainstorming, fellas.
|That's our boy.|
Normally, we're not fans of extended metaphors or puns. However, we do have a soft spot for jew fro's and have decided to make an exception in the case of this article.
|Faryd (right, sword raised) shown here vacationing in Geatland with the French magician himself Sebastien Le Toux (left, conjuring a spell while creepily observing from behind the crag)|
"After a summer full of slaying actual dragons in real mythological Scandinavian cities, I don't think I should have any trouble stopping a little ball from getting into the net. Have you seen me? I'm huge."Don't get too excited, ladies. Faryd is a happily married man.
|Gaven is clearly ready to be a Stoner|
"Goaltending and I go way back. We first hooked up back in '03. I was just a rookie then, and I didn't really know the difference. Coach said if I went in net that I could get on the field, so I did it. I scored that night, but it wasn't pretty and I could tell that a lot of people didn't approve. I tried to stay away from Goaltending after that. It worked for a while, but, in the back of my mind, I always toyed with the idea of going back to her. Last year, Will [Crew GK Will Hesmer] got hurt, so I jumped at the chance to take his position. Finally, Goaltending and I were reunited. It was magical at first, but then Sebastien [Former Union Forward and new Stoners Teammate Sebastien Le Toux] caught sight of what was happening. He put one right through me. I'll never be with Goaltending again."Yeah, so look forward to none of that. Gaven will be playing strictly on the field. Never in goal. Let me emphasize that, never in goal.
|Andy to RSL Sponsor: "I'm Xango-ing to the Stoners, buddy!"|
|"WHAAT??!? I got picked by the Stoners??!??"|
"With a name like Ryan Smith, I've always been pretty forgettable. I've tried telling people I was born in England. I even hacked my MLS profile page to trick people into thinking that I make hip-hop music. Nothing has worked. Hopefully, joining the Pennsylvania Stoners in the BSL will finally put me into America's, or at least my mother's, conscience. " [Editor's note: Ryan Smith is a middle child.]Here's to new beginnings!
|Dominic Oduro is ready to bring those hot feet of his to PA|
|Landing with the model PA Stoners franchise made hometown hero Convey reflect on his days with the mediocre Earthquakes|
"I'm ecstatic. In fact, I'm shock. Having been away from the Keystone State for so long, I started to think depressing places like San Jose were OK. It's good to be back in check with reality, not to mention back in the place where it all started for me. I hope I can give this team something to cheer for this year. Along with Carlos, Teal, Seba, and whomever else the Partnership can bring in, we're going to get it done this year!"Great grammar, Bobby!
|Ruiz grinning ear-to-ear after getting off the phone with Pennsylvania management|